Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Loved, loving and lovable

‎"Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained." C.S. Lewis

Somehow in my meanderings and contemplation of who and what I want to be, yesterday I started reading an article about The Law of Attraction and it's connection to love relationships which got side-tracked slightly into self-confidence, self-esteem and self-love. I say side-tracked slightly because they are really part of the same idea. When you love yourself, you have confidence which attracts good things and good people into your life. The concept is even expressed in the Bible with verses saying "let your light so shine" and that speak of being a light or "beacon upon the hill."

My reading material suggested some affirmations to start the day. Among them:
  • I am a radiant being, full of vitality, enjoying life to the fullest.
  • I love life and life loves me.
  • I look upon God, and the Divine within, to be the source of my happiness.
  • I love myself unconditionally for all my perfections and imperfections.
  • I am beautiful both on the inside and outside.
  • I see the world through eyes of acceptance and love. All is well in my world.
  • I am a creature unlike any other - truly unique and blessed.
  • I move through life knowing I am Divinely guided and protected.
  • I am a woman of substance.
  • I choose to be at peace with myself.
  • I see myself achieving... (list your goals).
  • I attract miracles into my life now.
I like affirmations and visualizations when setting and working to achieve goals but I guess I've never made myself a goal before. Some of these affirmations kind of make me wiggle in discomfort. They are things I'm not accustomed to saying to myself. Maybe it's time I start telling myself I am worthy to partake fully of life's abundance!

But what, exactly, does that mean? What is life's abundance? I think it is love. Being and knowing you are loved, loving and lovable.

Further into my reading, I found the following. The author, Gina Hardy, is speaking of romantic love, but I think the point she makes is applicable to all relationships... my relationship with myself and with others. She says:

"We are here to create union in love with another, it’s our Divine calling. Masculine and Feminine are opposite polarities that make a true whole and yet so much struggle and pain occurs in the world of love, ultimately I believe through lack of self awareness and education, truth, responsibility and authenticity. So many people have created their lives to try and get love and approval from others and have given up all rights to being who they really are in the process. The results can be hugely painful and difficult relationship patterns repeat over and again.

When we fall in love, the feelings generated are among the strongest we will ever experience. The greatest elixir of life is love, without question. It’s a feeling from the heart that’s almost inexplicable to the mind. You have probably said more than once “I feel like I have known this person all my life”. Then some months or years down the line when the power struggle starts, many of us end the relationship, believing that our once so perfect partner is now not meant for us at all.

But what if these conflicts were essential for your healing and growth ? What if this person who appears to have grown horns over night, is in fact your perfect match ? What if you just needed to become aware of exactly what is going on in you and in your partner? Most of the time conflict is about projection of things that are not healed within you. Judgement is one of the most painful and damaging “miasms” of the human mind, but when we judge we judge ourselves first."
When we judge, we judge ourselves first... and conflict is a projection of things that are not healed within myself. Wow! There's a flash of insight that's going to require more soul searching and work.

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