Monday, March 30, 2009

I want to get married

I want to get married... I really do.

I know that a big part of it is the fantasy every little girl has about Prince Charming riding up on a white stallion, falling madly and passionately in love, and then riding off with him into a sunset of happily ever afters. However much I think I've grown up and given up on that particular fantasy, if I'm really honest I have to admit that it's still there hiding in the deep recesses of my psyche. Which isn't to say that I'm not a realist. I fully realize that the Prince Charming fantasy isn't part of my current reality.

Another part of this desire to get married, if I'm really being honest, is that I'm lonely and more than a little bored with life. I don't want to always be alone in this big empty house. I'm tired of sleeping alone. I'm tired of making expensive and/or life changing decisions by myself. I want someone to snuggle with, to talk to, to do things with... and for. I want someone to share in life's adventures. I want someone to tell me that it's going to be okay when it feels like the whole world is crashing in on my head and then make it really be okay.

And still another part is filling unmet needs. This is a big house and a big yard. More than I truly can do by myself. Some things I lack the physical strength, skills or knowledge to do, some things are just so big they need two sets of hands and, selfishly, some things I just want someone else to do... like change the burned out flourescent light bulbs in the kitchen and basement (at least until they can be done away with and put up something that's actually attractive and a little less in the 'shop light' motif) without being a paid contractor.

Another part is the desire for a family. I feel like I don't have a family right now and I'd really like to be a part of one. If I could meet a 'Mr. Wonderful' with 2 or 3 kids, it would be ideal. But I'm also very open to the idea of adopting. 'Cuz heavens knows I'm not going to be shooting out any babies at this stage in life!

Are these good reasons to want to get married? Are they even adequate? Am I analyzing it too much without doing something about it?

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Big Love? No Love!!

Like everyone else, I've heard the rumblings about the HBO series Big Love airing a portion of the Endowment Ceremony held in LDS Temples. I know some who are furious about it. I'm not. I don't agree with their decision, but trusting that somehow God will use it to bring about His purposes, I'm not overly concerned. I think that HBO and the series creators and producers are showing an extreme of bad taste and disrespect. And sadly, in today's world that doesn't surprise me.

I guess for me, the crux of it is, what you hear in the Temple isn't something new and shocking. It's the same basic principles of why man exists and his relationship with his Creator. Everything there is uplifting and edifying. You get out of it exactly the preparation you put into participating.

This recently released video clip from the Church does a good job explaining the purpose of Temples. I like the different perspectives that are offered by clergy of other faiths. I encourage you to watch and if you have questions, ask.

Why Mormons Build Temples

Monday, March 9, 2009

A call to revolution?

Lately I've been sensing something that I'm not altogether comfortable about. My friends are mostly either staunch blue-suited conservatives or peaceful communers with nature... overall a pretty docile, quiet and tame bunch. But lately there's a common undercurrent in what they are saying that's a loud, bold call to action. People are unhappy and scared of what the future holds. More and more I hear (or read in an email, blog post, or facebook comment) things like "take back the government" and dismay at just how out of step our elected officials are with the constituency they are supposedly representing. There's a [sometimes] unspoken question of "how did this happen?" and an even more urgent "what are we, the few people left with any common sense at all, going to do about it?"

I'm not aware of any concrete plans to incite violence, but if I were I'm not completely sure what I'd do about it. Would I try to stop it? Would I join in? I truly don't know. I know there is a part of me that's deeply concerned with what's happening in government and industry worldwide. There's a part of me that's feeling very angry and betrayed. And there's a part of me that feels huge amounts shock and dismay at just how the awful things people do to each other have escalated. But there's another part of me that feels strangley detached from it and more like a curious observer. Is it possible to feel calm and threatened at the same time? Maybe only because it really hasn't touched me personally very much. Yet.

During our devotional this morning, someone read several long quotes from a transcript of what was spoken during Sacrament Meeting in his home ward by one of our Senior Apostles just following General Conference last November. Among other things he talked about coming hard times, a complete collapse of our financial markets, learing to do without some of the luxuries we've come to think of as necessities, sacrifice for what we believe... and that this is just a continuation of the cycle of righteousness and wickedness we see repeated over and over in the scriptures. Basically that the world has become so wicked that we have to be humbled in order to find our way back to God. Very sobering and thought-provoking...

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Words I Never Thought I'd Say

As a 45-year old just discovering the expanding wonders of a world that includes children, sometimes I think about how much my life has changed in the last couple of years. It even has a new vocabulary...

Green race car cake: Okay, maybe all of those words would have come out individually, but all together as a single phrase?

Sleepover party: I still can't decide which is more surprising, that I suggested it (with a little nudging) or how much money I'm doling out to make it happen in a pleasant environment.

Loot bags: The words and the concept would have garnered a solid, 'huh?' If you could only see the table today...

Bunk bed/bunkie boards: A couple of years ago these words would have been as foreign as Swahili and the suggestion that I'd ever have them in my house would have been beyond hilarious. Currently needing this contraption in the basement bedroom, got any you want to get rid of?

Nut allergy: Until recently I would have assumed everyone else uses the phrase the way I would... as a polite way to say 'that looks like *&%#* and I'm not going to even taste it!'

Woogie World: What's a woogie?

MAV: (aka Mormon Assault Vehicle) better known to the rest of the world as the mini-van. The mere suggestion that I'd consider driving one would have got you slapped! Still might.

Otter pops: Pop went the... otter? Well, okay, I guess otters deserve equal time with weasels.

Wireless router: Isn't that the one thing from Star Trek?

My own laptop for my room, iPod, Wii, Blackberry: Part of the endless list of trinkets wanted by a 10-year old. A very small part.

20 Bucks: What that aforementioned 10-year old thinks he deserves for mowing the lawn. The front lawn.

30 Bucks: Hmmm... Apparently the price goes up when you turn 12.

And these kids aren't even mine. They want to be, but... I get a sales pitch for it every time they are here on visitation that includes a promise that their dad is really, really, really nice. And I'd tend to agree. But as I said, they are only visitors in my life. Think of the vocabulary expansion I'd get if I had kids all the time!