4 things I've learned in the last 10 days

1. What you think you're going to feel... isn't what you'll feel at all. I anticipated some sadness, panic, and loneliness but just a day or so before my Mom passed there was a time when I prayed the simplest of prayers: "Dear Lord, I give this to Thee and trust Thy will will be for the greatest good." From that moment on, I've been okay.

2. You will be surprised by who steps up to offer love and support and who fails you. Someone said to me "Going forward, everything will be different." And it is. For me, this is a major clarifying point for who has a place in my future.

3. If you are caring for a dying loved one, and in it for a long haul, start hospice early. I anticipated a few months of having their support and care and got 9 days. I wish I'd pushed much harder to get it started earlier. The first week is overwhelming with new people and new things to be done before you can even really see the benefits. And the benefits are pretty amazing! I feel cheated by coming to it so late.

4. No one will advocate for you as powerfully as you can. Knowledge is power. Learn everything you possibly can about every facet of care you can conceivably be involved in. There will be people who are offended or put off by your questions. Don't ever let that stop you from asking your questions! There are professionals who will be involved who will give you incorrect information. Keep asking until you are satisfied the answer you have is correct. They work for you... make them do their jobs.