2012 was quite an adventure!
I laughed. I cried. I laughed so hard that I cried sometimes. I did good things and treated people well. I also did unkind things and treated people less than respectfully. Sometimes I expressed gratitude when I was treated well and sometimes I didn't. I apologized when my behavior called for it... except for the times when I didn't. I prayed for things that did not come to pass and received more blessings than I could ever hope to deserve. New beginnings found me and paths that I can no longer follow came to an end. I learned more than I would have ever imagined and I’m sure I forgot a lot too. Friendships ended and that love was lost. Friendships were formed and new love was found. When my family and friends lost family and friends I wept with them. When my family and friends found more family and friends I rejoiced with them. I've been allowed to live to see another day with the people and things that I love most. I traveled. I climbed a mountain. I walked in the desert. I swam in the sea. I hiked through a pine forest. I gazed into a tropical (and surprisingly cold) pool. I came to call a new place home. The college football team I root for has changed from the Utes to the Bulldogs. I've endured sleepless nights filled with doubt and worry. I've slept like a baby feeling secure and loved. I failed often but I accomplished so much more than in any previous year.
All in all, it's going to be a hard year to top! But I have high hopes for 2013!!
I was thinking about how I'd sum up my past year and what I want the new one to look like a couple of days ago when I read this blog post,
Drops of Awesome from Daring Young Mom. She really got me thinking about how we humans discount the good and focus on beating ourselves up over the screw ups. Even those of us who think we are optimists, the cup is half full team, spend a lot of time plotting and planning how to fix our flaws and do better. Why is it so hard to celebrate when and what we do right and say 'in this moment I am a good _______ (fill in the blank: parent, friend, spouse, etc.)?' Why is it easier to hear the negative voice inside our own head and believe the bad stuff it says? And maybe more importantly, what do we need to do differently to hear the good stuff?
To quote Kathryn Thompson, author of the Daring Young Mom blog:
As I said goodbye to Magoo and started to walk back home, my mind started to shift.
Drops of Awesome! I thought. Every time you do something good, something kind, something productive, it’s a drop in your Bucket of Awesome. You don’t lose drops for every misstep. You can only build. You can only fill.
I walked Magoo to the bus. Drop of Awesome!
I fed him fruit with breakfast. Drop of Awesome!
I told him I loved him. Drop of Awesome!
I wore a bra and brushed my teeth before schlepping it up that hill. Two Fat Drops of Awesome!
All day long I chanted these words in my head. I picked up that tootsie roll wrapper off the front porch instead of stepping over it for the eleventy hundredth time. Drop of Awesome! I unloaded one dish from the dishwasher when I walked through the kitchen on my way to the bathroom. Drop of Awesome! I texted my sad neighbor to say I was thinking about her. Drop of Awesome! I had a critical thought about one of my kids and I brushed it away and replaced it with love. Drop of Awesome!
When I started thinking about my life in terms of adding these little Drops of Awesome for every tiny act of good, I found that I was doing more and more of them because it’s a lot more fun to do good when you’re rewarded with joy, rather than being guilted about every failure in your past.
Drops of Awesome is going to be my personal theme for 2013. I have some huge goals to achieve and exciting adventures planned and I'm going to enjoy them! I'm going to enjoy the journey getting there, too!!
Thank you, Heavenly Father, for this life and another new year to explore it!
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