Sunday, March 8, 2009

Words I Never Thought I'd Say

As a 45-year old just discovering the expanding wonders of a world that includes children, sometimes I think about how much my life has changed in the last couple of years. It even has a new vocabulary...

Green race car cake: Okay, maybe all of those words would have come out individually, but all together as a single phrase?

Sleepover party: I still can't decide which is more surprising, that I suggested it (with a little nudging) or how much money I'm doling out to make it happen in a pleasant environment.

Loot bags: The words and the concept would have garnered a solid, 'huh?' If you could only see the table today...

Bunk bed/bunkie boards: A couple of years ago these words would have been as foreign as Swahili and the suggestion that I'd ever have them in my house would have been beyond hilarious. Currently needing this contraption in the basement bedroom, got any you want to get rid of?

Nut allergy: Until recently I would have assumed everyone else uses the phrase the way I would... as a polite way to say 'that looks like *&%#* and I'm not going to even taste it!'

Woogie World: What's a woogie?

MAV: (aka Mormon Assault Vehicle) better known to the rest of the world as the mini-van. The mere suggestion that I'd consider driving one would have got you slapped! Still might.

Otter pops: Pop went the... otter? Well, okay, I guess otters deserve equal time with weasels.

Wireless router: Isn't that the one thing from Star Trek?

My own laptop for my room, iPod, Wii, Blackberry: Part of the endless list of trinkets wanted by a 10-year old. A very small part.

20 Bucks: What that aforementioned 10-year old thinks he deserves for mowing the lawn. The front lawn.

30 Bucks: Hmmm... Apparently the price goes up when you turn 12.

And these kids aren't even mine. They want to be, but... I get a sales pitch for it every time they are here on visitation that includes a promise that their dad is really, really, really nice. And I'd tend to agree. But as I said, they are only visitors in my life. Think of the vocabulary expansion I'd get if I had kids all the time!

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