Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Not What But How

My Mom never actually said those words.  Lots of moms do... and I've heard the phrase, or something similar expressing the same sentiment, most of my life... but I never heard it come from my Mom's lips.  I did see it in her actions though.

She was soft-spoken, gentle, intelligent beyond her education, and patient about getting what she wanted in a life that was frequently difficult.  She grew up in a home where an alcoholic father spent money for beer rather than feeding the family and where his drunkenness could turn violent.  She had to quit school after the 8th grade to work and help support her mom and siblings and, while she always wanted more education, she never returned to school.  Being saddled with so much responsibility, she gave up a lot of personal goals and freedoms and married late in life.  I was a long sought conception, an easy pregnancy and a very difficult delivery... hence my only child status.  And then by the time I was 12, my Dad was disabled by a lung disease his doctors blamed on his younger years farming and breathing the grain dust thrown up by threshing wheat on his father's Wyoming ranch.  Because of her limited education, her employment opportunities were also limited but my Mom always worked.  She worked hard doing things like pressing clothes in a dry cleaner, waitressing, cooking and washing dishes in a cafe and sometimes being a cleaning lady in the homes of people who were financially better off.  There were slights and hurtful things said to her, and about her, by her family and my Dad's family and by members of the predominant Church in our community (which in a such small town is basically the lifeblood of the community) and yet, I'd say her life was quite successful.  She loved people.  And there were those around her who loved her.  And rather than hold a grudge, she was always willing to give people another chance.  I know there were disappointments that broke her heart many times in doing that... but I so admire that she was always willing.

And I hope that I am, too.

I hope that my words and actions can:

  * bring you moments of
   * the feeling of being
   truly loved and
   * peace in troubling
   * comfort in grief.
   * relief from weariness.
   * hope for a better

Yes, there are times when I feel very acutely the "lack of" in my life.  And yes, I've been known to complain about it.  Sometimes bitterly.  But what I'm finding is that I really want to use knowing how it feels to do my little part in making the world a better place.  And I want to share, hopefully not in a bragging sort of way, what I'm doing to get past the lack and into a place of abundance again.

If you feel so inclined, I invite you to comment about the things that would help me give these gifts of joy, love, peace, comfort, relief and hope to you.


jweb711724 said...

If you live as your mother no harm and turn the other cheek you will be remembered as you remember her! What a fabulous writing about your momma! Thank you!

Unknown said...

Beautifully written.