For Whom The Bell Tolls

I know... cheesy to steal the title from the ever more famous and great writer, Ernest Hemingway, but I like it.  And it works for this post about church bells.

There is a pretty little Catholic church, St. Patrick's, on the next block.  Jason's Mom said it used to have a contingent of Nuns and even, at one point, served as a Monastery but now was vacated for lack of a large enough congregation to warrant the expense of keeping clergy there.  Someone still rings the bells, though.  And the parish website lists a full schedule of meetings and masses. So who knows?

Photo from the website of
Our Lady of the Mountains
Roman Catholic Parish of Cumberland, MD

I've noticed the bells several times at 6:00 am, noon, and 6:00 pm.  At first I thought they were marking time.  And then I became vaguely aware that there were significantly more than 6 (or 12) peals... This morning I counted 22.

And so I went to Google for some answers.

I learned that the history of ringing church bells dates back to 400 AD. Paulinas of Nola was the first to introduce them to the Christian church and Pope Sabinianus sanctioned them in 604 perhaps as part of the meshing of Pagan practices into the early church as more people became members by force if not by choice.  Pagan winter celebrations have long included ringing bells to drive out evil spirits perpetuating the idea that bells have great spiritual significance though nothing in the Bible distinctly calls for the ringing of bells as part of worship.

Today's Catholic, Lutheran and Anglican churches ring bells at 6:00 a.m., noon, and 6:00 p.m. as a summons for members to pause and recite The Lord's Prayer or Angelus.  This schedule is also steeped in ancient tradition. Christianity draws from Bible verses speaking of thrice daily prayer:

Psalms 55:17 says "Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud: and he shall hear my voice."

And Daniel 6:10, "Now when Daniel knew that the writing was signed, he went into his house; and his windows being open in his chamber toward Jerusalem, he kneeled upon his knees three times a day, and prayed, and gave thanks before his God, as he did aforetime."

Praying 3 times a day is consistent with the Jewish practice of visiting the Wailing Wall.  And sounding a call to prayer is analogous to the Islamic tradition of the adhan from a minaret.  I think it's very interesting that we draw from so many diverse cultures and traditions for something so pleasant as bells on neighborhood churches.

About St. Patricks, their website gives this history "The rich history of Mt. Savage includes one of the first masses celebrated in the area in 1793 by Fr. Stephen Badin (the first priest ordained in America). As the Catholic population grew, St. Ignatius Church was built between 1829 and 1835. When a larger church was needed, construction began on what is now St. Patrick’s Church, named for the predominance of Irish immigrants. The new church was formally dedicated in October of 1873. Mt. Savage is also the birthplace of Edward Cardinal Mooney (1882-1958) who was elevated to Cardinal in 1946 by Pope Pius XII."

Pretty cool... While I still have no idea if 22 bell peals at 6:00 a.m. has meaning, or is just the result of an especially enthusiastic bell ringer, I can say I've walked in the footsteps of America's first priest now!

Father's Day

I got to talk in Church today.  Me, of all people, addressing a congregation on Father's Day and speaking about a father's role.  Me, the person who's pretty much all alone in life... both my parents have passed on, I have no siblings, no husband, no really tight ties to extended family (friendly ties, yes... but tight? Not so much.).  I think I'm an odd choice to talk about family relationships.

I had some reference materials suggested, with the disclaimer that I could use any other Church produced material I wanted, and I used the 2 suggested Ensign articles to prepare my talk early in the week.  Thinking "Whew!! That's done." I metaphorically wiped my brow and went about my week.  But something just felt off whenever I thought about the talk.  So I revised.  Then I rewrote.  And then revised some more.  It still didn't feel right.  Finally, late last night I tore up all my notes and jotted down the thoughts that are in my heart and that's the talk I gave...

If we pause and take a good long hard look at the world today, we can clearly see that Satan is working overtime creating havoc with the family and trying to enslave the souls of men.  His main target, more and more often, is the family.   Sadly sometimes it looks like he is winning this battle.  We see grim facts on the news and among many families around us as increased crime, behavior disorders, poverty, drug abuse and a long long list of other societal problems.

In April 2004, Elder L. Tom Perry remarked, “It appears to me that the crosshairs of Satan’s scope are centered on husbands and fathers.”

Why would that be so?  Why would Satan specifically target the men in our lives and our relationships with them?

I personally believe it is because our relationship with our earthly father is a mirror for our relationship with our Heavenly Father.  In a sense, we, as children, learn how to relate to Heavenly Father by how our fathers relate to us.  Think about it for a moment… if you are close to your father and have an open and attentive and loving relationship with him, then it is easy to recognize and feel an open, attentive and loving relationship with Heavenly Father.  If you didn’t have that relationship with your earthly father; if it was distant or tense, for example; you’ve never learned to receive that fatherly attention.  You may want it desperately but not recognize it or know quite how react to it.

My dad... from a wedding picture. October 1962.

I would say that is true in my own situation.  My parents married late and tried right away to start a family.  I ended up their one-shot wonder... an only child. My dad was disappointed that I was a girl… he wanted a boy to teach to hunt and fish and wrestle and play football and whatever other rough and tumble things you do with boys.  And then he got me.  I know that he loved me and I’m in no way saying that he didn’t or that he was a bad man.  Quite the contrary… he was a good man who worked very hard to see that we had the things we needed but he didn’t know how to relate to all the lace and ruffles and baby dolls and teddy-bear tea parties that go with having a little girl and so he held back and left raising me mostly to my mom.  Because he wasn’t a strong presence in my younger life, I feel like I don’t know how to have a close and tender fatherly relationship.  And that sometimes leaves me feeling like Heavenly Father is distant and unconcerned with me.

That’s a lot to overcome.  Satan manipulates circumstances to reinforce that that feeling of estrangement and whispers to dismiss the times when the relationship is good and healthy and working properly as fleeting.  I wish his lies weren't so easy to believe!!

Fortunately, there are other fathers we can look to for examples.  Grandparents, uncles, friends, teachers... There are many of you right here in this room that I observe on a weekly basis caring for and loving your children.  You give me joy when I see you so involved with your little ones.  You give me hope when I see you relating in a positive and loving way with your teens and them mirroring that back to you with respect and adoration.  And in all honesty, you make me more than a little bit jealous when I see you look at your wife with love and honor and respect in your eyes.  So many of you are doing so many things right.  And, sadly, you hear so much criticism and condemnation for your role as a father.  I think it’s time we recognize, encourage and support you!

Not just on Father’s Day but every day.

In this life there are things that matter and things that don’t.  Fathers… YOU matter.

One of the reference articles Brother Embry asked me to use was by A. Theodore Tuttle and was printed in the December 1971 Ensign.  At the beginning of it, he shares the following analogy: “Some years ago, I read an editorial in the Deseret News entitled “The Mechanical Rabbit.” I quote:

“Most of our readers must have smiled the other day when they read of the greyhounds in Britain who don’t know a rabbit when they see one. So long had they chased a mechanical rabbit around the racetrack, that when a real rabbit bounded across the track, the dogs didn’t give it a second look.

“Stupid, eh? But sad too, this perverting of the natural instincts...

“We chase mechanical rabbits, too.

“We chase paychecks, and don’t give a second look to the glint of the rising sun on a snow-topped peak.

“We chase our way through the appointments of a crowded desk calendar, and fail to take time to chat with the next-door neighbor or to drop in on a sick friend.

“We chase social pleasures on a glittering noisy treadmill—and ignore the privilege of a quiet hour telling bedtime stories to an innocent-eyed child.

“We chase prestige and wealth, and don’t recognize the real opportunities for joy that cross our paths...

Wordsworth said words appropriate to this condition: “The world is too much with us: late and soon, Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers.”

“Race on, you poor, blind over-civilized hounds. You’ll never catch your rabbit until you learn to recognize a genuine one.

“But, you’ll have company in your race; the company of unnumbered men who’ll never catch the joy they chase until they, too, learn to recognize a genuine one.”

This points up our challenge: See “that the things that matter most … are not at the mercy of things that matter least.” (Ashley Montague.)

Fathers… YOU matter.  Your influence in the lives of your children, and even other children – like me, matters.  As does your loving presence.  A close relationship between father and child is high on the list of things that matter most!  Your example helps me to repair my relationship with Heavenly Father and that’s at the top of my list of things that matter most!

If you ever start to doubt that you matter, consider this quote from The First Presidency and Quorum of Twelve Apostles that's been used in articles, videos and pamphlets for at least 5 decades now:

“The title father is sacred and eternal. It is significant that of all the titles of respect and honor and admiration that are given to Deity, he has asked us to address him as Father.”

You, fathers, have big shoes to fill.  And I give you my respect, honor, admiration and support in building these most important eternal relationships and wish you a most happy and blessed Father’s Day!

Seagulls Can Fly

Photo credit: publicdomainpictures.net

Once upon a time there was a Mormon seagull named Sam.  He was a studious seagull, engrossed with learning every detail of whatever new thing he came across in his day.  He was also very punctual... always on time.  He knew exactly how long it took to go from place to place in his town so he knew the exact moment to leave so that he would arrive someplace at the exact right time.

One Sunday morning, Sam was up early and reading his scriptures as all good Mormon seagulls do when he came across a certain passage that made him scratch his head.  He was sure he'd read it a thousand times before.  Maybe even more than a thousand.  But today it spoke something new to him and he was fascinated.  Flipping back and forth between Bible and Book of Mormon and Doctrine & Covenants and Conference talks by modern day Church leaders he just had to learn everything there was to know about it.  His wife came out and nervously checked her watch before asking Sam if he was coming to Church.  He checked the time and, knowing precisely how much time he needed to get dressed and make it to the Church, he waved her on and dived back into his research.  He was sure he had time to finish up his morning's study and still make it to Church on time.

When he looked at his watch he saw that more than the few minutes he thought had passed were gone and he was going to be late for Church.  Unless...  Unless he went the other way by the cliffs.  There were two ways to get to the Church from Sam's house.  The safe way that almost everyone went that took 10 minutes.  And the route that went along the edges of the cliffs where dangerous winds blew in off the ocean and could send an unsuspecting seagull crashing to certain death on the beach far below.  If he went by the cliffs, he might just make it barely on time.

So Sam finished getting ready and set off.  He knew a little about wind from working on the bridges where breezes got strong on some afternoons and that convinced him that he'd be ok.  He kept reminding himself of this crossing the cliffs and then, suddenly, there was a massive gust.

Photo credit: paisley-photographic-society.co.uk

What was happening?  He couldn't feel solid ground.  And everything was spinning.  And he was falling at an alarming speed.  All Sam could think about was his family.  What are they going to do if I die?  How will they get by?  Deciding he was going to at least try to break the fall a bit and not die this way, he lifted his wings to the side.  And noticed he wasn't falling nearly so fast.  Then he decided maybe he could slow it just a bit more if he moved his wings up and down.  It worked!!!  Soon he noticed that not only had he stopped falling but he was starting to rise.  And so he moved his wings faster and made it back to the top of the cliffs where he continued on his way to Church.

Sam arrived just a few minutes late that Fast Sunday morning.  He sat down next to his wife just as the Bishop was making the announcement to turn time over for testimonies.  And he knew he had to share what he'd learned.  So he walked up to the pulpit and taking a deep breath, said "Brothers and Sisters... Seagulls can fly."  There was a collective gasp from the congregation and some snickers of disbelief so he said it again. "Seagulls can fly."  Then he related the tale of being blown over the cliffs and learning for himself that he could fly.  He challenged the other members to try... to extend their wings and move them up and down.  Everyone sat still nervously eyeing the bird next to them.  Finally a young bird off to one side put his wings out and started to move them.  And sure enough, he started to rise.  Everyone was amazed and soon a few more youngsters were flapping away.  Then some of the adults gave it try.  Soon the whole congregation was flying around the chapel excited about this new truth in their life.  And they flew down the halls to the rest of their meetings just as excited.

Then when Church was over... they walked home.

How many of us are like those seagulls?  We have these great and wonderful truths, things we are thankful for and happy to have in our lives... things we get all excited about at Church.  And then we walk out the door and do nothing with them.

Why do we walk when we are made to fly?


Story credit: As close as my memory comes to what was related by Doyle Embry on May 31, 2015.

The Difference Between Heaven and Hell

I've heard some version of this little story before but it's been a long time since I thought about it so it was a nice reminder at Church today...

A man died and was greeted by Heaven's gate keeper who offered to show him both Heaven and Hell. The man agreed and was led into a room where there was a large round table with several pots of the most delicious soup he'd ever imagined.  At each place around the table a person was seated.  And each person had a large long-handled spoon strapped to their wrist.  Each person could dip up a spoonful of this delectable soup but they couldn't maneuver it to their lips because their arms were too short or the handle was too long or some combination of those problems.  So they sat there miserable and hungry and very much wanting the soup that was right in front of them.  When the man turned to his heavenly guide with a confused look, the guide said "This is Hell."

And then he led the man away to another room.  Walking in it was identical.  There was a big round table with several pots of that same delicious smelling soup and people seated all around the table with those long-handled spoons strapped to their wrists.  But these people were happy!  Each dipped up a spoonful of soup and turned to the person side of him (or her) and brought the spoon to their lips.  Everyone was well fed and enjoying the soup.  The guide explained, "This is Heaven."

Picture from:  http://peanutshell.blogspot.com
/2012/08/a-story-of-heaven-and-hell.html

The gist of the talk was that focus on self leads to misery and we create a heavenly environment by serving each other... that we get farther faster when carrying each other's burdens than if each person has to carry all of his own problems by himself.  Sometimes service doesn't have to be a grand gesture; it can be as simple as a friendly smile of welcome when you greet someone.

I think it's a great and valid point.  Service changes perspective. In my own life, I've seen it get my mind off my own problems and feeling sorry for myself because of them.  Years ago my Mom had a heart attack and was in the hospital for several days.  It was a bad one and things were not certain and at one point one of the doctors, a young man finishing his residency, urged me to pull life support right now and be done with it.  A visibly upset nurse advised me to wait until morning when the cardiologist came around.  I waited and things got back to what was our 'normal' at the time, but leaving the hospital that night I met another woman.  She was crying and wanted someone, anyone, to talk to.  I wasn't sure I wanted to be that person but not seeing much chance of a polite escape, I sat down with her and listened.  I'm glad I did.  Her husband had been shot in a street brawl.  And he woke up from surgery angrier than a hungry bear.  He wanted out to go seek revenge.  And he wanted out NOW.  And death to anyone who tried to stop him...  She signed the order for the hospital security to restrain him knowing the threat to kill her for doing it, when he did get out, was real.  Suddenly my problems didn't seem so terrible.  My perspective was changed.

In the Book of Mormon when King Mosiah has called his people together and he addresses the fairness, equity and spirituality of his reign as their leader, he exhorts them to be good to one another.  In part he says "And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.  And behold also, if I, whom ye call your king, who has spent his days in your service, and yet has been in the service of God, do merit any thanks from you, O how you ought to thank your heavenly King!" (Mosiah 2:17,19)

That phrase "when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God" is a hallmark of my personal faith.  The best way I can say thank you for all that I enjoy, and ever hope to enjoy, is to share it with those around me.  Someday I'd love it if my gravestone could honestly be engraved with she went about doing good.

Now isn't that a powerful possibility?

The Power of the Word

As I've said now and then, I sometimes substitute for the regular teacher in Sunday School or Relief Society (the women's auxiliary of the LDS Church).  Today was one of my days to have a captive audience!  Lesson material was drawn from an April 1986 General Conference address by Ezra Taft Benson, his first Conference as President of the Church.  He was addressing the Priesthood session but the concepts hold value for all of us still today.

He noted, "We live in a day of great challenge.  We live in that time of which the Lord spoke when he said, "peace shall be taken from the earth, and the devil shall have power over his own dominion."  (D&C 1:35)  Those words were spoken 29 years ago.  Think about how much has changed in that time.  Both good and evil have grown stronger.  There's less "gray area."  President Benson continued, "...while many of our members are remaining faithful and strong, some are wavering.  Some are falling.  Some are fulfilling John's prophecy that in the war with Satan, some Saints would be overcome. (Rev. 13:7)

Besides John the Revelator, prophets such as Lehi and the Apostle Paul spoke about this same condition in our days.

Learn more about this picture and the artist, Dr. Steven L. Neal, here:
http://nealmd.com/paintings/2681359

Lehi saw that many people would wander blindly in the mists of darkness, which symbolized the temptations of the devil.  He saw some fall away "in forbidden paths," others drown in the rivers of filthiness, and still others wander in "strange roads," (1 Nephi 12:17 and 8:28,32)  Paul described a time when such things as blasphemy, dishonesty, cruelty, unnatural affection, pride and pleasure seeking would abound. (2 Tim. 3:1-7)  Such grim predictions by prophets of old would be cause for great fear and discouragement if those same prophets had not, at the same time, offered the solution.  In their inspired counsel we can find the answer to the spiritual crises of our age.  Lehi wrote of an iron rod and when his older sons, Laman and Lemuel, asked what it meant, the answer was "It was the word of God; and whoso would hearken unto the word of God, and would hold fast unto it, they would never perish; neither could the temptations and the fiery darts of the adversary overpower them unto blindness, to lead them away to destruction."  (1 Nephi 15:23-24)  Not only will the word of God lead us to the fruit which is desirable above all others, but in the word of God and through it we can find the power to resist temptation, the power to thwart the work of Satan and his emissaries.

Several weeks ago when Katelyn McLeod spoke in Sacrament Meeting she said, "Conversion is a choice you make every day not something you get to decide once and then move along with your life."  At the time I saw it as a great comfort and contrast to a troubling sentence that had stuck with me from a blog post I'd read sometime earlier.  That blog, and I've forgotten both the author's and blog's name now, was written by an active LDS woman and in that particular post she was talking about current church events and some sadly high profile excommunications.  Overall the post was well done and positive, except the last sentence... She said that "leaving the Church was not beyond the realm of possibility in [her] future."  That bothered me.  And it made me sad.  It also caused me to reflect on my own commitment to the gospel and what I'm doing about keeping it strong. I resolved to focus more on the basics: church attendance, prayer and scripture study.

Spending quality time in the scriptures is the answer to the great challenge of our time.  The word of God, as found in the scriptures, in the words of living prophets, and in personal revelation, has the power to fortify the Saints and arm them with the Spirit so they can resist evil, hold fast to the good, and find joy in this life.

Photo from lds.org

President Benson referred to an earlier meeting giving instruction to Stake Presidents and Regional Representatives in 1982. At that meeting, Boyd K. Packer said "Buildings and budgets, and reports and programs and procedures are very important.  But, by themselves, they do not carry that essential spiritual nourishment and will not accomplish what the Lord has given us to do.  The right things, those with true spiritual nourishment, are centered in the scriptures."  And it's true, none of those activities can be ignored and laid aside, but they are not the most important thing you can do.  In recent years, time and again we have counseled you that certain activities bring greater spiritual returns than others.  As early as 1970, President Harold B. Lee told the Regional Representatives: "We are convinced that our members are hungry for the gospel, undiluted, with its abundant truths and insights.  There are those who have seemed to forget that the most powerful weapons the Lord has given us against all that is evil are His own declarations, the plain simple doctrines of salvation as found in the scriptures."

Each of us must, at some point in our lives, discover the scriptures for ourselves -- and not just discover them once, but rediscover them again and again.  We filter what we are reading by the sum of our experiences and since we are living and experiencing every day, each time we read a scripture we have the potential to see it in a new way because we now understand differently.  "The Lord is not trifling with us when he gives us these things, for 'unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall much be required. (Luke 12:48)  Access to these things means responsibility for them. We must study the scriptures according to the Lord's commandment and we must them govern our lives. (3 Nephi 23:1-5)

During our last Stake Conference, Elder Kopischke spent a great deal of time talking about how Councils work.  He was specifically talking about Ward Councils but noted that the principals apply to Stake Councils, General Councils and even Family Councils.  He instructed our leadership to consider what is the best for an individual over what is in the interests of the auxiliary organizations of the Church.  When we care for the people, the auxiliary needs will be better met than when we put them first.  That same idea also applies to us as individuals.

If YOU do this:                                                  The whole Ward benefits with:

Immerse yourself in the scriptures                     Increased activity levels

Search them diligently                                       Testimonies will increase

Feast on the words of Christ                              Commitment will be strengthened

Learn the doctrine                                              Families will be fortified

Master the principles                                         Personal revelation will flow

Bend your efforts and your activities to stimulating meaningful scripture study!

The Prophet Joseph Smith said that "the Book of Mormon was the most correct of any book on earth, and they keystone of our religion, and a man would get nearer to God by abiding by its precepts, than by any other book."  (Book of Mormon, Introduction)  To get nearer to God... Isn't that what we all want?

We want it individually and collectively.

In the Joseph Smith Translation of Matthew, during the Savior's great discourse on the Mount of Olives, He promises "And whoso treasureth up my word, shall not be deceived."  (JST Matthew 1:37)  Sisters, when we pick up the scriptures we hold a treasure in our hands.  Do we treat them as a treasure?  They are filled with guidance for our lives...

"Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path."  (Psalms 119:105)

Nephi promises that feasting upon the words of Christ "will tell you all things what ye should do."  (2 Nephi 32:3)

They are also there to pull us back when we go astray.

"Yea, we see that whosoever will may lay hold upon the word of God, which is quick and powerful, which shall divide asunder all the cunning and the snares and the wiles of the devil."  (Helaman 3:29)

Success in righteousness, the power to avoid deception and resist temptation, guidance in our daily lives, healing of the soul -- these are but a few of the promises the Lord has given to those who will come to His word.  The word of the Lord is a valuable gift, and we must not treat it lightly... but treasure it.  Spend time in the scriptures.  Learn to hear God's voice for yourself.  Immerse yourself in a relationship with Him.

What a treasure!

"For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."  (Matthew 6:21)

Hallelujah, Anyhow!

You know how different denominations of churches have different behaviors and words that are particular to themselves?  I'm not saying one is better than another just noting that there are some differences in that some are quiet and simple and others are more vocal and physically active in their worship services.  I'm thinking about the hands raised to welcome in the Spirit of the Lord, the swaying back and forth, and fervent audible 'Amens' spoken in agreement with points of the sermon in what's typically thought of as a 'Black Church.'  Anyway, that's the observation of a simple white girl...

My church is much more on the quiet and simple side of the spectrum.  The main worship meeting consists of a couple of hymns, a communion service where the sacrament is passed to the congregation, and a speaker or two drawn from the congregation.  Once a month, the pulpit is opened up for anyone who feels the urging of the Spirit to share a brief testimony.

And, in my congregation, each month there is one particular woman who does so.  It's obvious her background has been in a more vociferous church because she approaches it just a little bit differently.  And I mean that in a very good and refreshing way!  One time she sang her testimony to us very soulfully.  And another Sunday, she told us about sitting down to watch a news program the night before and it was all doom and gloom with the stories being pretty exclusively those of murder, rape, robbery and political corruption.  She was starting to feel down about it, but then caught herself and declared "Hallelujah, anyhow!"  She went on to talk about some other things that happened the same day that could have been very depressing but she chose to greet them with the same enthusiastic "Hallelujah, anyhow!"

I love that attitude!  It's one I'd like to develop in myself... the ability to look at anything going on around me and declare, no matter how terrible it is, "Hallelujah, anyhow!"  It kind of goes along with these song lyrics that spoke to my soul a few days ago.

I know there's a lot of versions of this song out there, some probably more worthy of a listen than others.  Many of them are attributed to Leonard Cohen, as is this one, and curiously the lyrics vary between them on some of the verses.  I don't know which is authentic but I like this one.  And I like these particular words in it:

"There's a blaze of light in every word...

It doesn't matter which you heard -

The Holy or the broken Hallelujah."

I've made no secret that lately I've felt quite too acquainted with "broken" and doing a lot of exploring on personal, physical and spiritual realms trying to put all the pieces back together in an even better way.  Maybe a good way of saying that is that I'm seeking out the "Holy Hallelujah" times in life and find the sweet sister at Church to be an inspiration.

So whatever today brings... Hallelujah, anyhow!

Leaving Church

Before anyone gets their feathers in a needless kerfluffle... that's the title of the book I'm reading with my friend Renee.  I'm not making plans to leave my religion behind.  At least not just yet.  It's a memoir by Barbara Brown Taylor who used to be an Episcopalian priest and walks through her journey to a decision to give up pastorship of a small church in North Georgia.  Any pastorship, really, since she's teaching college now instead of preaching Sunday sermons.

On the surface, I'd have to say we don't have a whole lot in common.  We're different ages, with different interests, and different calls to serve... but her words paint such vivid pictures and speak directly to my battered soul in a way that makes me feel like I've found a true kindred spirit.  I'm only 75 pages into the book and already I would give it my wholehearted recommendation.

Actually it's on pages 74 and 75 that she describes the place I am in my spiritual journey in words I can only sit back and covet.  They are the words I wish were mine.  They make that perfect of a description even though she's speaking from her perspective as a pastor.  She says, "On my worst nights I lay in bed feeling like a single parent, unable to sleep because I knew I did not have enough love in me to go around.  God was the boundless lover, but for many people God was the parent who had left.  They still read about Him in the Bible and sang about Him in hymns.  They still believed in His reality, which made it even harder to accept his apparent lack of interest in them.  They waited for messages from Him that did not arrive.  They prepared their hearts for meetings that never happened.  They listened to other Christians speak as if God showed up every night for supper, leaving them to wonder what they had done wrong to make God go off and start another family.

"I suppose I could have helped them see how their life histories deepened their distress or given them some more grown-up ways of conceiving of God…"

Exactly... To me, in my present circumstances, He feels very much like the parent who turned away and walked out.  (Or at least I feel like how I imagine an abandoned child feels since my experience with that is thankfully only indirect.  When we were 7, my best friend's mother walked out in the middle of the night.  April was my age and she had 2 younger brothers.  What I remember about it most vividly is the many days her face was tear-stained while she was left to wonder where her mommy was at and why she wasn't loved and wanted any more.  I don't know what words were exchanged between April's parents, just that it was several years before she had any contact with her mom again and that her dad was not well-equipped to raise 3 small children on his own.  Even being that young the details of her life made me sad and looking back at them from my adult perspective explain much about the parenting decisions she made with her own children.)

What struck most in this passage was Ms. Taylor's suggestion that my conception of God as a missing parental figure is immature.

On the one hand I'm going to take that as a valid criticism and seek out examples of how a grown-up handles this relationship.  Maybe my relationship with Him does need to change.  Maybe the very way I view Him needs to shift.

On the other, I'm going to back pedal a little bit.

Of all the names that God is known by, the one He has specifically asked us to use in addressing him is 'Father.'  Does that not designate ours as a Parent/child relationship?  And as part of a Church culture that makes a big deal out of keeping the traditional family unit whole, does that not grant me the expectation of an engaged and involved Father?

Am I just being a petulant bratty child?  Do I need to just grow up spiritually?  How does one do that?  Where can I look for realistic examples?  Is my conception of God as my literal spiritual Father wrongly interpreted?

Home: Heaven on Earth?

"We  have been trying to impress upon parents the need of paying more attention to their children, having a little more of the spirit of the gospel in their homes, a little more unity and a little more faith; a little more responsibility religiously, spiritually on the part of the fathers; also, of the mothers; more of the teaching of the gospel in the home.

"To parents in the Church we say: Love each other with all your hearts.  Keep the moral law and live the gospel.  Bring up your children in light and truth; teach them the saving truths of the gospel; and make your home a heaven on earth, a place where the Spirit of the Lord may dwell and where righteousness may be enthroned in the heart of each member."   (Joseph Fielding Smith)

This is a direct quote from last Sunday's Relief Society (the Women's Auxiliary in the LDS Church) lesson.  So much stands out in my quest to create HOME in a new place and I thought I'd share some of those thoughts.  The quote is from a talk given sometime prior to President Smith's death in 1972.  That it's still relevant and repeated in current counsel today speaks to the enduring nature of family as central to all we are and hope to be!  And besides I love a list as a way to both check up on myself and organize new ideas for how I can do better, so here are the key points as a bulleted list:

• Pay attention to your children (and your spouse!)
• Have more unity and faith
• Take more responsibility for the spiritual welfare of your family
• Love each other
• Keep the moral law
• Teach the gospel in the home
• Really live the gospel (every single day)
• Make your home into your own "Heaven on Earth"
• Create a home where God's Spirit will be comfortable
• Enthrone righteousness in the heart of every family member

Angel by Jim Shore

 Being a practical person I can appreciate the practicality of the gospel and know that many of the things that make a good spiritual home are the same as make it comfortable and comforting and beautiful and desirable in the worldly sense, too.  I want my home to be a haven from life's problems... a place where we want to spend our time... a place where others feel welcome and safe and wanted and cared for.

With that in mind, I'm drawn back to President Smith's list.

Pay attention.   Who doesn't love to be heard when they speak?  Is it not the epitome of feeling loved when someone takes the time to actually listen to you and pay attention to what you want and need?  Who better to spend that energy on than your family?  Get to know them.  Get to know what they like, what they are doing during their days, what their goals are.  Show your love by being involved!

Show unity and faith.  Things are so much easier when you're pulling in the same direction...  Sometimes when Derek and I have argued, more than once because I felt unheard and assumed he wanted something different because he was ignoring me, I've said that.  We really need to have a united front - to give the same message of love to the world and each other.  When everyone else sees you as rock solid it gives you more reasons to be rock solid and not disappoint their faith in you.

Take responsibility for the spiritual welfare of your family.  This is a tough one because you can only teach so much and then you have to realize the other person, be it a child or a spouse, has the agency to make their own choice about what they believe and how they express that belief.  But no matter what, you can lead by example and live what you believe!  And you can always provide opportunities for all members of your household to experience the spiritual.

Love each other.  To me this isn't so much about the big overt acts as the small simple things that make the other people in your household feel loved.  The random text or email or phone call just to say "I'm thinking about you" is a welcome demonstration of love.  And I feel very loved when Derek indulges my appetite for Mexican food even though he dislikes 99% of what a Mexican restaurant serves.

Keep the moral law.  Rules create boundaries meant to keep us safe.  And safe is a much happier place than when you are hanging over a precipice ready to take a death defying plunge into the unknown.  We all have an innate sense of right and wrong.  And sadly, a lust to test boundaries and see just how much we can get away with.  We need to recognize them, instead for what they are, and be happy to play by the rules.  Sustained joy is far superior to moments of adrenalin rush!!

Teach the gospel in the home.  If family is the central unit of Heaven, as I believe, then it makes sense that it is the central unit of our earthly societies.  And it makes sense that home is the best place to teach the gospel.  Take it, not just as a responsibility, but as a joyful right to teach your children, spouse, extended family and friends how to really live the gospel.

Really live the gospel every single day.  Maybe I'm just simple-minded... but it's too hard for me to be one person on Sunday and someone else during the week.  That's just too many details to keep straight and remember who knows what lie and what's the next one that will sound congruent to that storyline.  Because if you live as a religious person on Sunday and then go out to lie and cheat and steal during the week you are lying to yourself and everyone else you come in contact with.  I know what I believe.  And that's how I live, or at least I try my best to live up to that ideal, every day.

Make your home into "Heaven on Earth."  Imagine what Heaven is physically like.  Is it clean and orderly?  Are the "many rooms" in Heavenly Father's mansion comfortable, well arranged for conversation, and beautifully decorated?  How are they decorated?  Maybe I'm overly imaginative, but that's where I try to draw inspiration in pulling my home together.  I ask myself "Is this a room that invites a little bit of Heaven onto Earth?  Is it a haven from my worldly cares?"  When I lived in Utah, I knew a family who took that even a step farther and patterned their living room on the Celestial Room in the Salt Lake Temple.  They used similar furnishings, had custom millwork created to bring the moldings and wood details to scale for their home, lovingly kept it immaculately clean and they treated it as a most special and sacred place... one where they felt God would be comfortable joining them in a conversation.

Create a home where God's Spirit will be comfortable.  Along the same lines as imagining what our future Heavenly home might look like and trying to duplicate it, I think the art we choose to display can either enhance or detract.  In some way, I'm trying to display a scripture quote (and it might change from time to time) and an artwork piece depicting Jesus in every room.  Some of them might be small and visible only if you know to look for it, but I know it's there and it's a reminder to me.  I have portrait style pictures, figures like a carved olive wood piece a friend sent me from Jerusalem and even a pewter collector spoon with a nativity on the handle.  I also choose to play gospel-oriented music.  There are many Christian radio stations to choose from now, as well as playlists you create for your iPod or even just on youtube.com.  I think it's calming.  So much so that when I'm suddenly exposed to a Top 100 station I often feel assaulted and disoriented.

Enthrone righteousness in the heart of every family member.  When the rest of your family sees that you are happy, they wonder what you are doing and will ask and try to do the same things themselves.  They want to share in your happiness.  You have to lead by example, provide opportunities to learn about God's ways and always, no matter what, love people.  What you can't do is force them to live a set of rules you impose.  Remember each person is meant to be 'an agent unto himself' and he (or she) has the right to choose what they believe and how they act on it.  It's ok to hate the sin, but always love the sinner!


(Kind of as a side note, I wanted to share this tribute given by his wife, Ethel:  "You ask me to tell you of the nam I know.  I have often thought when he is gone people will say, 'He is a good man, sincere, orthodox, etc.'  They will speak of him as the public knows him; but the man they have in mind is very different from the man I know.  The man I know is a kind, loving husband and father whose greatest ambition in life is to make his family happy, entirely forgetful of self in his efforts to do this.  He is the man that lulls to sleep the fretful child, who tells bedtime stories to the little ones, who is never too tired or too busy to sit up late at night or to get up early in the morning to help the older children solve perplexing school problems.  When illness comes the man I know watches tenderly over the afflicted one and waits upon him.  It is their father for whom they cry, feeling his presence a panacea for their ills.  It is his hands that bind up the wounds, his arms that give courage to the sufferer, his voice that resonates with them gently when they err, until it becomes their happiness to do the thing that will make him happy...

"The man I know is unselfish, uncomplaining, considerate, thoughtful, sympathetic, doing everything within his power to make life a supreme joy for his loved ones.  That is the man I know."

Wow!  If you're looking for an example of someone to emulate (or searching for the greatest husband ever!) he sets the bar pretty darned high!!)

Spare The Rod

I stumbled into a discussion amongst mothers the other day.  Some of them were spankers and others were aghast at the thought that anyone would ever think of spanking their child.  Somewhere amongst the back and forth about that, someone quoted the Bible verse we've all heard many times.

He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.         Proverbs 13:24

In conversational context that's often shortened to "spare the rod and spoil the child" and used by many Christian parents to justify spanking their kids.  I don't have kids, so in a sense I don't have a right to an opinion one way or the other on how other people choose to discipline theirs.  That doesn't mean I don't have an opinion, just that I'm going to keep it to myself because it isn't important to what I want to say here.  I will agree that seeing it as direction to discipline with spanking is, certainly, a possible interpretation of the verse.

One of the ladies in this discussion offered another idea about it.  Her position was that "rod" may have a whole different meaning here.  Consider these verses:

Speak unto the children of Israel, and take of every one of them a rod according to the house of their fathers, of all their princes according to the house of their fathers twelve rods: write thou every man’s name upon his rod.   Numbers 17:6

And it came to pass that I beheld others pressing forward, and they came forth and caught hold of the end of the rod of iron; and they did press forward through the mist of darkness, clinging to the rod of iron, even until they did come forth and partake of the fruit of the tree.   1 Nephi 8:24

The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.  Proverbs 29:15

What is the rod spoken of in the first verse of the 11th chapter of Isaiah, that should come of the Stem of Jesse?  Behold, thus saith the Lord: It is a servant in the hands of Christ, who is partly a descendant of Jesse as well as of Ephraim, or of the house of Joseph, on whom there is laid much power.  D&C 113:3-4

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.  Psalms 23:4

And it came to pass that I beheld that the rod of iron, which my father had seen, was the word of God, which led to the fountain of living waters, or to the tree of life; which waters are a representation of the love of God; and I also beheld that the tree of life...  1 Nephi 11:25

Now I realize there are plenty of examples in the Bible that indicate a rod is an instrument of punishment.  But these verses show us that it is used in other ways, too.  Rod would seem to be a record keeping device, a guide, one who serves Christ...  I especially like the imagery from the last verse.

Rod = God's word = Holy Scriptures

Reread Proverbs 13:24 and the verse selections above with that in mind.  Could it be possible that sparing the rod might mean neglecting parental duties to teach a child moral values in the home?

“The home is the first and most effective place to learn the lessons of life: truth, honor, virtue, self control, the value of education, honest work, and the purpose and privilege of life. Nothing can take the place of home in rearing and teaching children, and no other success can compensate for failure in the home.”   David O. McKay

Children look to their mom and dad not just for basic survival care but to learn how to act as adults.  Parents are the first moral compass for their children and have those early formative years, the most most influential time of a child's life, pretty exclusively to begin laying the foundation for the thoughts, actions and attitudes of the adults they will become.

Now that's a monumental task!  And one that all of society should be interested in seeing parents accomplish successfully because the price of failure is so very high.

Culture and Doctrine

Photo credit:  https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?
fbid=609487549077896&set=a.224321947594460.
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With no intended disrespect to anyone's beliefs or religious background, I'm asking this question:

SHOULD A CHURCH'S DOCTRINAL TENETS CHANGE (OR EVOLVE) OVER TIME TO KEEP UP WITH THE CHANGES IN SOCIETY'S BEHAVIOR AND ATTITUDES?

Over the past couple of months I've watched as some women within the Mormon Church have staged campaigns for women's rights or visibility... or something.  A few are passionate about their cause of wearing pants to Sunday services citing the need to change cultural norms to better fit today's lifestyle.  Others have been adamant that women's spirits are being crushed because historically only men have offered prayers at our semi-annual General Conference.  People who've commented about these 'slights' in online forums have said it's the beginning of a movement to ordain women to the priesthood.  I don't really know if that's the goal or just someone offering a doomsday explanation.  But if it were to happen, it would be a fundamental change in the Church's basic doctrinal tenets.

Here are the only comments I will ever have to say about the place of either pants or pray-ers in religion:

I was taught that on Sunday you wear your best clothes to Church as a way to show your respect and best efforts to the Lord.  No one, to my knowledge, has ever said that your best clothes had to be a dress although for most of us it is.  No where in Church doctrine is it codified that Mormon women must wear a dress to Church services just as there is no place it is codified that any clothing must be of a specific style or fabric or price tag.

A prayer is said to both open and close any Church meeting.  To the best of my knowledge the person who is asked to offer a prayer is drawn from the general congregation to offer supplications to God on behalf of everyone, male and female, who is there.  There is no prohibition of a woman saying a public prayer.  I have.  Many times.  Whenever another person has prayed, I've never even thought to pay attention to who was saying the words because I was focused on what was being said.  Isn't the point of that reverent moment to get your mind in a place where you are receptive to the counsel about to be given by that day's speaker(s)?

Honestly, I do not understand why either of these 'issues' are issues at all... unless it is to cause strife amongst the women of the Church and draw our attention toward bickering over petty details instead of being united and engaged with the Lord's work.  And I really dislike the message it sends to the rest of the world that Mormon women are oppressed and unhappy and fighting to equal (or best) our men.  Some have argued that they bring it up for debate hoping that changing the culture within the Church will invite more people to participate.  Would you want to jump in to this kind of silly argument?

I know that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is not the only Church to struggle with these kinds of cultural debates.  It is, however, the one I know the most about.  And I am aware that some Churches have modified their stand on issues like women and priesthood, same sex marriage, contraception, meeting formats, music, language and other things.  In some ways I see their reasoning... they are reaching out to be inclusive of ideas that weren't theirs historically.  Much of what I've read in the day or two since Pope Benedict announced he was resigning the Papacy leads me to believe that many are hoping that the Catholic church will change doctrines under a new Pope to include more modern attitudes and behaviors.

But... is it right to let culture reshape doctrine?

Consider the 13th chapter of Hebrews and the message that God is the same yesterday, today and forever.  And pay special attention to the verses just following that statement:  "Be not carried about with divers and strange doctrines.  For it is good that the heart be established with grace..."

It would seem that culture needs to conform to doctrine.  Members of the LDS Church are often told that we need to be in the world but not of it.  That means, to not only don't worry about being different than anyone else, but to enjoy and appreciate that we are noticeably different.  Different is good, too!