Just like all of us...

Bristol Palin blogs that free speech, and freedom, are sometimes uncomfortable.

She goes on to quote a Time Magazine article who's author's name I missed talking about the political stance one takes when they are offended being to silence their opponent rather than engage in a conversation where both sides may learn something. This is the concluding paragraph she quotes: "G.K. Chesterton said that bigotry is “an incapacity to conceive seriously the alternative to a proposition.” If he is right — and he usually is — then I wonder if the Duck Dynasty fiasco says more about our bigotry than Phil’s."

The past year has seen America ripped apart with polar opposite ideas on race, religion and lifestyle choices -- think Paula Deen, Trayvon Martin, and now Phil Robertson -- with even close friends finding themselves arguing bitterly over who is right.

Or more often, who is wrong.

And yet, I'd guess that, amongst my friends, most believe in God and that the Bible is His recorded word. There we are told one of the greatest of all the commandments is to "love thy neighbor as thyself." I say that loving someone, even unconditionally, doesn't mean you like or approve of everything they do. In that light... I think we'd all do well to stop and consider just what is spewing forth from that hole in our face.

I don't mean only the rabid comments both in support and condemnation for Mr. Robertson though that is what I'm thinking about today. We don't know him. Or at least I don't know him. And one outrageously coarse comment with no context doesn't give me the right to label him as anything.

Who or what he is, is between him and God.

I am among the part of the population who finds the show wildly entertaining and the characters engaging. I know I've seen all of them say stupid things and then turn around and utter the most profound wisdom. They may seem extreme. That's what sells on TV.  But if you look at the overall picture, the Robertsons are pretty normal folk - a mixture of good and bad.

Just like all of us.

There is hate enough to go around in this world...  I'm not sure why we talk about wanting love and acceptance for ourselves and then show our most vile contempt for anyone who makes different choices about their life than we do for ours.  Now and then we hear people say horrific things about women. And I've heard the most outrageously untrue and hateful things about Mormons. And Muslims. And Jews. And Blacks and Hispanics and... Everybody hates somebody! I'm not saying that as justification or to downplay anyone's pain. It's hurtful to be on the receiving end of hate no matter who you are.

But back to Ms. Palin's premise that free speech can be uncomfortable...

Yes, it can.  Free speech is Constitutionally protected in the First Amendment.  Having an opinion is legal.  But this isn't even a free speech issue.  In Mr. Robertson's case, no one has been arrested.  It's an employer telling an employee that their behavior reflected so badly on the company's image that their services are no longer needed.  A&E is well within their rights to make that call.  Mr. Robertson is entitled to his views, even to give them voice.  But that right doesn't protect him from the consequences of choosing to do so.

It's convenient to forget that with choices come consequences.  Consequences that are usually set before the choice is even made.  How often have I been taught that good choices bring happy consequences and bad choices bring unpleasant consequences?

I reap the consequence of each choice I make in a day.  And in any given day some of my choices are good and some are bad.  So do you.

Just like all of us.

Double Standards

Indulge me for a moment and watch this short video, entitled "What Kind of Asian Are You?"

Silly that we are so quick to judge appearances isn't it?  And quick to be offended when it's pointed out to us, too!

Why is it so hard to just accept a person for what they are right now?

Yes, this is my blog post about Paula Deen.

I think it's probably fair to start by telling you that I grew up in a sheltered time and place.  The racial mix in my home community was mostly white, white and white.  It's notable that there were a few people there with Hispanic roots and exactly 2 of my schoolmates were Native American.  The only black people I saw until I was well into my high school years were on television, and as a child I was not entirely certain that their color wasn't as pretend as the program they appeared on.  I'm sure I heard some of the adults around me use racial slurs to describe these actors because I am familiar with the words even though they don't evoke any strong emotions in my psyche.

The first time I saw a black person, I know I stared.  I tried not to, but it was awfully hard not to be fascinated by a complexion the color of smooth, rich, milk chocolate.  And I admit I wanted to touch their face and know for myself that they were real.  I didn't.  But I sort of wanted to.  Later on in my adult life I asked myself if I was racist because of my lack of exposure to people of this particular ethnicity. Ultimately I decided no, I am not a racist.  I am not racist because I don't view a person as good or bad, better or worse, or any other comparison, simply because of what shade of brown their skin happens to be.  I connect to people on the level of the heart... by their character, not their appearance.  If you have dark hair and eyes, yes I see it.  But it's just part of who you are in the same way that my brown-ish hair and blue eyes are part of me.

But, I guess not everyone sees it that way.  There's a double standard in America.  And it troubles my heart.

And this is where Paula Deen comes in.

Paula Deen is a celebrity chef from Savannah, GA.  She is currently being crucified in the media because she admitted in a legal deposition that she had used the word "nigger" in a private conversation with her husband almost 30 years ago after she'd had a gun shoved in her face by a bank robber while she was working as a teller.  The robber was a large black man.  That incident isn't even the meat of the lawsuit for which she was being deposed, but came from background questions to determine her attitudes toward other people.  It is, however, what the popular media has chosen to focus on almost entirely.

One word.  Spoken decades ago in a moment of stress, fear and anger determines your character forever.  Seriously?

Admitting to that one word seems to be enough in some minds to destroy her and everything else she has accomplished.  No kudos for being a poor single mother who pulled herself up by the bootstraps and built a wildly successful business empire?  No mention of the charity work and support provided because of that success?  No one cares about the jobs she created in her community?  Apparently none of that matters because she once said a word that is banned from the vocabulary of people whose skin is the same shade as hers.

Contrast that with today's so called primarily young and black "ghetto culture" where the same word is a common reference to one's comrades.  Turn on some rap music, which seems to be anthemic to them, and really listen to the words.  Yes, you might think your ears are bleeding and you might walk away so offended you twitch for awhile, but it is very educational.  Did you hear people who look like Ms. Deen referred to as "whitey" or "cracka?"  Did you notice how every woman is a "bitch" or maybe the extended vowel version "be-otch?"  If that's not double standard enough, did you catch how "nigger" and "nigga" is bandied about as a reference to one's own self and one's friends?

Except that it's not funny, it's almost laughable that anyone can point a finger of condemnation toward Paula Deen for having said it once a long time ago.  Why is the word acceptable in one circle but not the other?  That's the double standard.  And it should not be tolerated!  That it is, I believe, is one reason racism lives on.  A reason why people with different skin tones can't quite lose their distrust of each other.  Something as simple as language will divide black from white and keep the goal of one equal America just out of reach.

And that makes me tremendously sad.

End the double standard.

And look at the sum of a person's life before you condemn them.  Counting back on my fingers, I'm guessing her comment was made somewhere around 1986.  Are you the same person today that you were in 1986?  I know I'm not.  In that much time, I would hope that she's learned and changed and become a better human being, too.  And I'd hope that I'm not judged today by a stupid comment I said then.